Gue dan Dark Souls

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Goddamn fuckin’ Dark Souls!

Setelah bertahun-tahun di blow job ama game2 lame nan gampang dan nganggep gamer kaya orang2 tolol sampe perlu diajarin buat tengok kiri dan tengok kanan, or mencet satu tombol doang buat ngehindarin fuckin boulder, Dark Souls muncul ngeberakin muka gue, dan just like The great Vince McMahon says, sometimes you’ve gotta eat shit, and you have to like it. Gak nyambung sih konteksnya ama Dark Souls, but quite frankly, nagih banget gue diberakin ama From Software, the maker of Dark Souls.

Dark Souls itu kaya udara seger banget buat gw setelah selama ini tidur di jamban. Its an RPG sih. Tapi buat para penggemar RPG yang gampang2 dan casual macem SKYRIM, Inquisition, FF, or even Diablo series, stay the fuck away from this game, kecuali lu demen banget disiksa, dikerjain, dan maenin sebuah game yang totally unfair, walo banyak orang2 di internet yang bilang, Dark Souls? Its hard but fair. Fuck That. Lawan dua bos sekaligus dimana kena hantem sekali ngabisin 3/4 darah itu fair? Telanjang bulet without armor in the 1st 5 minutes of the GAME langsung dihadepin ke bos yang lu pukul cuma kurang 0.1 persen darahnya itu fair?  Nelusurin goa gelap penuh tengkorak2 asshole terus disamping kiri jalan itu jurang tanpa panduan sama sekali itu fair?

Well, I should’ve known sih, tagline gamenya aja Prepare to Die!

But goddamn, once again, ni game nagih banget. Why? Karena rasanya puas banget kalo elu naklukin bos2 badass di game ini. Karena rasanya enjoy banget pas  elu bisa lolos dari daerah yang penuh ama terror and basically castle penuh jebakan gila yang bakal bikin elu mati puluhan kali. Just ask the awesome pewdipie..

Dark Souls is a game without clear tutorial. The fuckin game bahkan gak punya coherent story yang jelas dan gak bakal mungkin lu bisa tebak alur dan what the fuck is really going on in that game kalo cuma maenin gamenya doang. This fuckin bullshit, bahkan gak punya in game map di dalem gamenya yang nunjukin elu harus kemana, cebokin sapa. You have to remember your own way, dimana musuh lu berada, dan what kind of stupid trap yang lying around. Dan gak ada system checkpoint modern yang bikin sebuah game gampang. Mati? Selamat mengulang lagi dari tempat save yang jauhnya bujug buneng. Kena kutukan? Selamat! Because darah elu jadi setengah, dan lu bakalan susah banget nemuin obat buat nyembuhin tuh kutukan without looking in the internet.

This is the game yang bakal bikin elu ngeluarin kata2 tanpa sensor macem tai, fuck, anjing, ngentot, tetekebo, kambing, ngentiaw, what the shit, motherfucker, asuu, kuontol, and lots other profanity tipikal pemain CS jaman dolo.

And yet, when everything is clicked, you’re going to enjoy being tortured by Dark Souls. Ampun deh, ini satu2nya game yang bikin gw ampe pengen nangis gara2 saking stressfulnya. But, gw keep coming back for more and going to name my son, someday in the future, Artorias…

Once again, goddamn fuckin Dark Souls!

Greatest Videogame of all time….

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3 thoughts on “Gue dan Dark Souls

  1. Pewdipie itu apa? (males googling, takut gbr yg nggak2…) soalnya pernah googling kata “kuyang” lgsg shock…

    1. PC Master Race here bro..
      Belom terlalu minat beli ps4. Cuma bloodborne doang yg menarik..
      Sin of the first scholar juga baru gw finished 5-6 bulan kebelakang…

      Thanks for reading anyway..

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